Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back

They say that if a million monkeys were put into a room with a million type-writers for a ridiculous number of hours that at some point during that time one of them could write a best-selling novel. Maybe if I beat my head against the keyboard for long enough the images that are in my head will quickly spread onto the word processor.

Or, you know, maybe it’ll spray my brains all over the laptop screen.

Either way, this is getting stupid. In about a month I have only written 15,000 words. That’s beyond unacceptable to me. NaNoWriMo guys can write 50k in a month, so why can’t I hit half of that? The sad part is that I really have been busting ass at it. I’ve been writing before I go to work and I have been writing at work (sometimes 2,000 words a night) religiously, because it is my second (un-paying for now) job, for the past 30 days. So, what gives, Oh Writing Gods on High?! Are all of my words being sucked into a black hole to pay thee homage as a finders’ fee? You guys suck up there and in the words of Meat Loaf: I want my money back!

Somehow, despite all of the AWOL words, I have managed to complete Aimee’s second section and have started with Kay’s. I was talking with a fellow (published) writer who had advised me that because of the subject matter and the fact that it is my first novel, the publishers will probably frown upon anything as long as I plan on making this thing. That being the case . . . once I am finished with my drafts and am ready to send it out, if it is long enough (or too long as the case may be), I may splice it into two books and make my planned second book a third book.

I really don’t want to do a trilogy. Really. No, I mean it. People who are first starting off in writing always go for that first. As if, in order to be a great writer you must have a best-selling trilogy under your belt! (See JRR Tolkien, Brent Weeks, Margaret Weis, Douglas Adams, etc.). As if, somehow, their created world is the next best thing to godliness and all hail their lore and legend! I don’t want to fall into the category of “Pretentious hack who thinks she can write a best-selling trilogy but falls flat on her face because she’s too proud of her shit”. This is exactly the way I picture every single editor and agent thinking while they roll their eyes and chunk my manuscript into their trash bin to burn at their weekly bon-fires.

Two book series, fine. Trilogy: not my first choice.

Official Word count: 77,511. Three and a half sections down, three and a half more to go!

Cheers,

~Hoshi