I Got Nothin'

Here I sit, watching my fingers tap away at the keyboard as if there is some magick behind the clicks and clacks. There isn’t really, all of it is just sort of there. Creating words and watching strands of structure being combed out into sentences that make partial sense—at least to me.

I wish there was a magick there, a gift. Or maybe, just maybe, some motivation to write. After three months of work outlining, writing, deleting, re-writing and deleting some more, the hope that I had it pegged is once again beginning to slip away from my grasp. I have so much that I want to pour into Gestalt that I am beginning to have doubts about settling on writing in First Person. Enzeru and Seishi’s stories can’t be completely told from that perspective, and neither can a few other characters. I also can’t get into the minds of some characters that I really would like to, and I can only go into action that Aimee and Kay are a part of.

Jesus this is hard! I need to stick to my guns, though, I know that. I need to get this draft hammered out and send it to my focus group of editors (i.e. my friends) to see if they like it in first person or if they feel, like I do, that there’s a huge chunk of story missing from it that way. I don’t intend to leave out huge chunks of story just to get a consensus one way or the other. I will write to the best of my abilities in any facet to make certain I tell the story the way the characters want it to be told. I just hope that my muse won’t come back and bite me in the ass.

More outlining got completed tonight, but not much in the way of tender, juicy story.

There need to be more hours in the day. Just sayin’.

Cheers!

~Hoshi