Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back

They say that if a million monkeys were put into a room with a million type-writers for a ridiculous number of hours that at some point during that time one of them could write a best-selling novel. Maybe if I beat my head against the keyboard for long enough the images that are in my head will quickly spread onto the word processor.

Or, you know, maybe it’ll spray my brains all over the laptop screen.

Either way, this is getting stupid. In about a month I have only written 15,000 words. That’s beyond unacceptable to me. NaNoWriMo guys can write 50k in a month, so why can’t I hit half of that? The sad part is that I really have been busting ass at it. I’ve been writing before I go to work and I have been writing at work (sometimes 2,000 words a night) religiously, because it is my second (un-paying for now) job, for the past 30 days. So, what gives, Oh Writing Gods on High?! Are all of my words being sucked into a black hole to pay thee homage as a finders’ fee? You guys suck up there and in the words of Meat Loaf: I want my money back!

Somehow, despite all of the AWOL words, I have managed to complete Aimee’s second section and have started with Kay’s. I was talking with a fellow (published) writer who had advised me that because of the subject matter and the fact that it is my first novel, the publishers will probably frown upon anything as long as I plan on making this thing. That being the case . . . once I am finished with my drafts and am ready to send it out, if it is long enough (or too long as the case may be), I may splice it into two books and make my planned second book a third book.

I really don’t want to do a trilogy. Really. No, I mean it. People who are first starting off in writing always go for that first. As if, in order to be a great writer you must have a best-selling trilogy under your belt! (See JRR Tolkien, Brent Weeks, Margaret Weis, Douglas Adams, etc.). As if, somehow, their created world is the next best thing to godliness and all hail their lore and legend! I don’t want to fall into the category of “Pretentious hack who thinks she can write a best-selling trilogy but falls flat on her face because she’s too proud of her shit”. This is exactly the way I picture every single editor and agent thinking while they roll their eyes and chunk my manuscript into their trash bin to burn at their weekly bon-fires.

Two book series, fine. Trilogy: not my first choice.

Official Word count: 77,511. Three and a half sections down, three and a half more to go!

Cheers,

~Hoshi

“Like anything worth writing it came inexplicably and without method”

I’m just over half way through this draft of Gestalt, and for the past 100 pages or so I have been mulling over my most hated aspect of this process. It’s an aspect that I loathe more than editing, more than nit-picking, more than trimming and re-arranging and testing and re-writing COMBINED. I have to start seriously thinking about . . . the dreaded query letter.

F%&*!!

I’ve been preparing. Slowly but surely my long list of a blog-roll has been skimmed and sifted through and linked and linked back and traced and dotted and highlighted, circled and underlined a gazillion times while I prepare in the back of my mind exactly how I am going to sell myself to an agent.

Nathan Bransford is my first choice as a literary agent. He also seemed to have a hard time talking about query letters and the basic synopsis. In fact, in his blog post about the synopsis he tries to hold off as long as possible without delving into detail. The problem with them is that there is no method to them. There is not script. There is not a single line that anyone can tell you about how to write the perfect synopsis. Just like with writing a novel: It has to come from you.

It’s so difficult to write the novel to begin with, but then to chop it all down into less than a page (ok, two paragraphs) worth of “Look at me! I can SELL!” is where things are going to be obnoxiously difficult. I’m not a sales person, so finding a streamline way of summarizing Gestalt that is tailored to my prospective agents without it seeming like “just another query letter” may drive me to drink . . .

Oh, wait, too late.

For now I suppose I will focus on the novel itself, and let the process mill a little more in the back of my mind until the fire is hot enough, the ingredients just right, to start formulating an epic pitch for this novel.

May the Gods guide my path.

Cheers!

~Hoshi

More Cow Bell, Less Migraine

This was going to be a Vblog post, but I’m too lazy right now.

A lot of fun stuff happening. My truck is finally fixed. This comes after it’s been sitting in Ben’s drive for close to a year now, I finally updated my website with character profiles and a whole new look (of which I am seriously considering doing more character sketches for), my birthday is next week, and I don’t go back to TNI until the night of the 16th, hurray for weeks off. Note how I didn’t say from work. No. I’ll still be working. I’ll just be working on what I love. I think I can get about 10,000 words done over the next ten days. A thousand words a day, if not more. That’s feasible, right? I think it is. I hope it is.

Remember how I said “On the 50k word mark note: I think it’s all down-hill from here.”? Yeah, well, I lied. I was trying to think positively and failed miserably. It’s still grueling even though I have a massive amount of notes and even more massive amount of plot embedded into my gray matter. Kay’s first section is complete. I’m about five chapters into Aimee’s second section and I have just over five months to finish this thing to meet my self-imposed deadline. After about ten years of planning you would think a full year to get it all down on paper is enough time. Despite busting my ass night after night, for some reason it still doesn’t seem like enough time. The fantastic thing is that I am actually doing it. It’s not like how I used to be where I would say “Oh yeah my new year’s resolution is to finish my novel.” and then I write all of twelve pages and stop. It’s up to two hundred and forty some-odd pages now.

I think I may go mad before it’s all done.

So, 10,000 words. Ten days. It’s a mini NaNoWriMo. I dunno, though, I’m thinking of just printing out what I have thus far and editing like a mad woman. I know that everyone, including myself, says don’t edit as you write, and I know I have to move forward with it before I should worry about the little crap details. But it’s there. And it’s tempting. Very tempting.

It’s also been over two weeks. I think we need another writing round table. Maybe either the end of next week or the week after.

Cheers!

~Hoshi

And Now For Something Completely Different (Video Blog)

It’s late . . . or early . . or, whatever. Thought I’d try this new thing. I say “Uhm” way too much and probably should have had a more thorough outline of what I was going to say about the book I am reviewing here, among other things. Yes I DID know the Author's name before I started the video, but I've been up for nearly 24 hours and had a brain fart. hence the pause. I’ll try to get a better camera and microphone soon. But for now, hurray for randomness.

Cheers!

~Hoshi

Luck Matters (And a Thank You)

This blog post is a long time coming. I meant to post it last week, but everything swept me up in a riptide. Aside from hitting my 50,000 word mark on Gestalt (YAY! Roughly halfway finished!!!), we had our first real creative writing group meeting last Thursday night! I have to say: I have never been more impressed with a creative writing group. The talent among my friends is unparalleled. I’m not saying that just because they are my friends, but because they truly are a fantastic group of writers. I count myself, not simply lucky, but honored to have these people in my life. Honest and nearly tangible feedback mixed with great recommended reading and awesome over all writing discussion made it the best night I’ve had as a writer since I graduated high school.

There were only a few of us in attendance, but that’s perfectly fine. I like it that way. We can each read more pages and get better feedback on our respective pieces. Those who did show up had a fantastic first day, and I can’t wait until the next one!

On the 50k word mark note: I think it’s all down-hill from here. My plot notes are there in complete clarity. I have a few tweaks that need to be made and a few details I need to sort out, but I feel that I will finally finish a piece of writing that I am proud of beyond a shadow of a doubt and will willingly submit to anyone wishing to read the adventures of the voices in my head. I hope that I can put my heart and soul into a story that will tug at emotional tethers and be laugh-out-loud funny, all for the purpose of pure entertainment.

I think this time, with the constant backing of all of you who have helped to hold me aloft through my creative process, all the ups and the downs and the rants and the exciting newness of it all, I can attain that goal. Basically, at the half way mark of the story: I love you, and I couldn’t walk this road as well as I have been thus far without your encouragement. Thank you.

Cheers!

~Hoshi